I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize