Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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