So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
