even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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