the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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