im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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