Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize