Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
