woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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