yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
