I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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