So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
