Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
