I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
