I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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