doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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