Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
