He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
wow bdsm is so cute
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