we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
