Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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