Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
