Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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