What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
