Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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