so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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