I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
