Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize