I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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