I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
