i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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