How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
