Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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