Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
