I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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