Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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