Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
