Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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