if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize