Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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