i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize