so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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