I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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