it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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