one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
