Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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