Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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