He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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