hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
