All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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