ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
