sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
