I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
