If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
