So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
