I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
