oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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