Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
