Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
