Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Gay?
German.
Pity.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
