he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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