I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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