I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
