I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
