Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
