ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
