I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
