Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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