Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
