Got a toothbrush?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
