There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
