my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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