I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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