I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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