maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
